Fluff Daddy poses with some friends he made in a parking lot at 3am this morning.

Fluff Daddy poses with some friends he made in a parking lot at 3am this morning.

Fluff Daddy seen this afternoon looking reflective with a Slurpee. Taken right after he did something dark, and before he did something darker.

Fluff Daddy seen this afternoon looking reflective with a Slurpee. Taken right after he did something dark, and before he did something darker.

The Darkest Years of Our Lives…

It was on a night just as dark as this, 9 years ago - when Google was just 5 years old, before YouTube or Facebook were even ideas, the inappropriate adventures of Illegal Products were thrust upon the internet… and things have never been the same since. Happy Birthday to us!

Happy Devil’s Night.

Happy Devil’s Night.

Fluff Daddy Contemplating The Future…Taken during a secret trip to Spider Island in the Summer of 2011.
We’ve been neglecting this site for a little too long… updates coming soon.

Fluff Daddy Contemplating The Future…Taken┬áduring a secret trip to┬áSpider Island in the Summer of 2011.

We’ve been neglecting this site for a little too long… updates coming soon.

The Darkest Holiday of The Year!

Wishing you and yours a very happy (and dark) Halloween!

Schemin’

We’ve been going through parts of the archival website that’s available, and are planning to re-add some highly controversial sections that were previously available on the original incarnation of our dark site. We’re not going to lie, they weren’t for everyone from 2003-2006, and they’re going to be even less appealing in 2011.

On that note, we hope you’ll enjoy them.

Illegal Products Thrrrowback!

Back in the summer of 2006, after quite a long time of the world not hearing from him (he was thought to be dead of alcohol poisoning) - we shot this promo entitled “A Moment With Fluff Daddy”. It features Fluff Daddy in all his chemically-enhanced glory - ranting about god knows what with DJ Spork, and was recorded by a seemingly-random unnamed white girl. Originally released September 11, 2006. Be sure to check out Fluff’s native language making it’s way into the conversation in the form of “weshaboogwotha”. We still honestly have no idea what the fuck he was talking about - but we like it! Enjoy.

The Yahoo is placing our own brand of “illegal products” directly between the EPA’s official site, and the Karaoke Industry Alliance’s - right where we probably deserve to be, number two. Either way, since we’re officially filling and violating 3 of the 5 top results for the search, we’re made in the shade with pink lemonade… and we do mean pink.

The Yahoo is placing our own brand of “illegal products” directly between the EPA’s official site, and the Karaoke Industry Alliance’s - right where we probably deserve to be, number two. Either way, since we’re officially filling and violating 3 of the 5 top results for the search, we’re made in the shade with pink lemonade… and we do mean pink.

Comin’ in Hot, Hot as Hell! Or… Illegal Products is the best!

First, and foremost, we’d like to acknowledge that we’re currently ranking number one in the Google search results under the keyword “illegal products”. As Fluff Daddy would say - “OH MY GOD, GIRLS!” After five years, we got our spot back, bitches!

Secondly, we’d like to thank our very first two followers on Tumblr: riverunderwater - an actual woman - Fluff’s first favorite kind of human! and deafstarr - from jolly Olde England, the namesake of Fluff Daddy’s favorite breakfast beverage, Olde English 800! If either of you have any special requests for Fluff Daddy, submit them to the “Ask About Me” section, and he’ll oblige. When he heard he was regaining a following, he suggested holding a deviated tea party with stuffed animals.

A couple weeks ago, Fluff and Spork were wandering around Wal-Mart when they found themselves within earshot of full-aged girls. Spork immediately went into a Fluff Daddy-esque tirade, which caught their attention. Upon striking up a conversation with them - they explained this site to them, mentioning “it’s called ‘illegal products”, to which they responded - “that’s fine, we’re 18”. Needless to say, they had a time.

When we switched formats from typical website to kicked off the internet to Tumblr, we weren’t sure how things would go - hell, we never even thought we’d rank again on search engines, after all the nonsense we’ve been through, but here we are… coming in hot, hot as hell!